Child Therapy
by devilhunter37
Summary: What happens during extreme bordem and a caffeine high? Something like this fic. Strange, vulgar, and down right offensive. This fic is guaranteed to do something for you. Otherwise you just wasted your time.


Child Therapy  
  
~Something I whipped up for my own enjoyment really. Has a lot of little jokes I'll probably be the only one to understand. But I figured eh, why not share it with all the other crazy people out there. Here goes.~  
  
Blossom looked around the small waiting room and held up a card to the receptionist with the plastered smile and fake breast.  
  
"Hi there little girl! Are you here for plastic surgery? You can go wait over there by the Olsen Twins."  
  
Blossom blinked in confusion and turned to see two identical blonde girls smile at her. They were bandaged and barely recognizable as humans.  
  
"Hi!"  
  
"This is our fourth visit!"  
  
"Tee hehehehe"  
  
Blossom blinked again and resisted to the urge to ram the pencil she was holding into her eye and turned back to the receptionist.  
  
"Uhm no. Actually I'm here for the child therapy session with Dr. uhm Mo Lester?"  
  
She checked the card again to make sure it was correct. She had been seeing things recently. It was so she looked back up.  
  
"Oh! Dr. Mo is out on lunch. You can go wait in his office."  
  
Blossom didn't bother to thank her as the phone rang so she walked toward the office of Dr. Mo. She opened the door and saw Buttercup and Bubbles already waiting inside. Buttercup turned and her anger flared immeadtiatly.  
  
"Bitch! This is for stealing the lead role!"  
  
She picked up her chair and hurled it at Blossom. She ducked and a scream resonated from outside. She looked over her shoulder to see one of the Olsens had bit it in the face and was hunched over bleeding. The other was trying to look upset but the pins in her cheek kept her stupid smile on full blast. Blossom walked into the room and sat next to Bubbles who was trying to snort a line of crack off a gun wrapper. Blossom wondered how long it had been since her last prozac fix. Probably a long time. She did wake up in a dumpster this morning. Buttercup kept shooting glares at her setting the room into an uneasy mood. Finally Dr. Mo entered. He was your average looking doctor. Except for the fact that he wore a pair of hawaiin shorts and no shirt. He had a horrible farmers tan and a shell necklace hung from his neck. He smiled at them all and noticed Bubbles snorting.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
Bubbles was so startled she dropped the coke on the ground and cursed violently.  
  
"You son of a bitch! That was my last rock!"  
  
She pulled a butterfly knife out and started spitting out random gang slurs before lunging at the good Dr. He dodge and she somehow got the knife stuck to the door. She attempted to pull it out but Dr. Mo was quick and pulled out a joint and handed it to her.  
  
"Here go smoke this in the back."  
  
"I oughta gut ya you dirty cracker bastard!"  
  
She lit the joint and inhaled deeply.  
  
"Aahhhhh..."  
  
Blossom's eye twitched as she suddenly wished she had Bubbles knife. She spoke softly in an almost inaudible voice.  
  
"Can I see your knife Bubbles."  
  
"You taklin to me nutbag!? And I told you before my names B-Dog! Get it right b'fore I cap your ass!"  
  
Blossom felt anger surge. God she wanted to kill her. But decided to keep it in check. She didn't like jail. So she would hold for a minute. Buttercup had been silent for a while and Blossom finally noticed why. Buttercup was busy trying to hang herself from the fan. The Dr. grabber her and tied her down. She squirmed and screamed.  
  
"You fuck! Untie me so I can kill myself! I've been trying for two fucking years! You bastard!"  
  
Finally getting everything straight the Dr. put on a white coat and sat down in his chair. He lit a cigar and looked the girls over before looking down at three case files on his desk. He whistled and looked up at Blossom.  
  
"It says here you suffer from schizophrania, bipolar depression, and excessive multiple personality disorders."  
  
Blossom just blinked at him. A voice in her head kept screaming something about chickens and the apocalypse. The wall behind the Dr kept changing colors and a fucking bird was driving her out of her mind. The Dr. finally checked an eraser at her head causing her to snap out of her delusions.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I said, you're one screwed up child."  
  
"I guess."  
  
He shrugged and turned to Bubbles who was busy preparing a hyperdermic needle for a heroin dosage. He was about to look in her file but set in down.  
  
"I think your problem is obvious."  
  
Bubbles looked up with wild eyes and turned to the wall.  
  
"I said I don't want any fucking tuna Captain Ahab! Get the fuck back in your caddy before I cap your white ass! Biatch!"  
  
Dr. Mo scratched his head and turned to Buttercup who appeared to be choking. The Dr. sighed.  
  
"Blossom. Hit her in the throat so she stops trying to swallow her tongue."  
  
Blossom did as she was told. Perhaps a bit too hard sending Buttercup's chair tipping over. She screamed and squirmed.  
  
"Damn you all! Damn you all to fucking hell!"  
  
Dr. Mo looked at the file and sighed.  
  
"Suffers from depression. No shit. Well it is official. You three are the most screwed up patients I've ever had. Jesus. To think I signed on as a child psychian to avoid crazy shit like this."  
  
He rubbed his temples and leaned forward so his elbows were on the desk. Blossom kept staring at his forehead and he finally noticed.  
  
"Something wrong?"  
  
"No. I was just imagined what you'd look like with a bullet hole through that pretty face of yours."  
  
"Rrrright."  
  
He casually reached under the table and felt for a cattle prod he kept there just in case. Then moved his hand back to the desk.  
  
"Well let's get this shit over with. Bubbles. We'll start with you. What do you think your problem is."  
  
"My problem is with the fucking man breathing down my neck and judging me for being black! Cracker!"  
  
"But you aren't black."  
  
"Fuck you and your lies!"  
  
Dr. Mo turned to Blossom who had begun scratching words into her arm and shook his head and turned to Buttercup who was now silent. But turned purple.  
  
"Buttercup! Breath!"  
  
"No!"  
  
Upon speaking she let out her breath and inhaled deeply. This angered her.  
  
"God damnit! Do you know how long I've been doing that shit and you had to ruin it!"  
  
"Buttercup why are you depressed?"  
  
"Because this bitch ruined my life!"  
  
She kicked Blossom in the leg who turned and hissed loudly. She leapt onto Buttercup and began clawing at her.  
  
"Ah! Fuck get it off me!"  
  
Buttercup straing against the ropes she had been confined with but to no avail. Blossom put a gash in the side of her face and she screamed.  
  
"My beautiful face! My careeer is over! I'll kill you!"  
  
Dr. Mo leapt over his desk and rammed the cattle prod inbetween Blossom's shoulder blades. She shook violently and foam fell from her mouth onto Buttercup hair who just screamed. Blossom fell to the side in a heap and shook again.  
  
Out in the lobby shrieking and banging noises continued to come. The receptionist looked around the room at all of the shocked patients and smiled weakly before picking up the phone and dialing for the police.  
  
Dr. Mo dusted himself off and untied Buttercup who kicked him in the crotch. He yelled in pain and tied her up again. She spat on his face and snapped at him but her went back to his desk. Bubbles pounced on him fueled with cocaine and heroin.  
  
"Give me your money bitch!"  
  
"Ah! Get off!"  
  
Bubbles pulled his hair and he shook finally throwing her to the ground. She laid there for a long time before yelling.  
  
"Captain Ahab save me from the monkeys and their Bananas!"  
  
Dr. Mo grabbed the phone on his desk and hit the button for the waiting room.  
  
"Brittany get me the police!"  
  
"They've allready on their way."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
He hung up the phone and turned to see Blossom burning the case files in a garbage can. He ran at her and shoved her over but she grabbed him by the throat and yelled into his face.  
  
"I have seen Atlantis and it is beautiful! Give me your cheese before I spew in your tea Mr. Hatter!"  
  
Dr. Mo shoved her to the ground and turned to the already out case files. They had been burned beyond any recognition and he turned in anger to Blossom who was shivering in the corner gnawing on a plastic plant. She turned to him and looked suddenly innocent with tears streaming down her face. Bubbles started crying as well and Buttercup joined in too. Dr. Mo grabbed his hair and screamed.  
  
"Shut up or I'll make you all shut up!"  
  
"Freeze right there you sicko!"  
  
Dr. Mo turned to see two police officer standing in the doorway with their guns raised. He shook his head in disbelief.  
  
"What the hell are you doing! Arrest these little girls! They're monsters!"  
  
"Yeah right you sick bastard. Cuff him Frank."  
  
"Right."  
  
One of the officers cuffed Dr. Mo and dragged him out of the room. A look of shock still on his face. Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup were all taken to the police headquarted where they testified against Dr. Mo and recieved a million dollars settlement against his alleged beating and mispractice of his Psyichian liscnese. The girls all stood outside the court house alone. Blossom spoke first.  
  
"Well, it worked."  
  
Bubbles smiled.  
  
"Yeah! Who would have thought! I mean jeez Buttercup you are a genius."  
  
"Eh what better job for a bunch of perfect looking little girls than to be con-artists!"  
  
They gave each other a high five when a limosine pulled up. A man leaned out the window and smiled.  
  
"Hi girls. Look we need you back on the set in a few hours. How'd the trial go."  
  
"Sure thing Craig. The trial went great, we won of course. The judge is a big fan of the show."  
  
Craig smiled.  
  
"See I told you fame has it's advantages. Check out these two babes."  
  
Two young blonde girls hung out the window and grinned. Bubbles cocked her head to the side.  
  
"The Olsen's?"  
  
"Oh my god! Look Mary-Kate it's the drug girl!"  
  
The other girl smiled and waved at them and Blossom laughed. Buttercup held back the urge to slap them both and Craig slid on a pair of shades and slide the window up letting the limo pull away. Blossom turned to her sisters.  
  
"Well, let's get back to the studio."  
  
They all turned and walked two blocks to the Cartoon Network studio and entered ready to shoot for the day. 


End file.
